LET THE TANKS ROLL

The Commission will today propose an “action plan for military mobility,” moving forward with President Jean-Claude Juncker’s dream of creating a “fully fledged European Defense Union” by 2025. It’s the Commission’s contribution to what EU governments proudly call a “member states driven” project: deeper integration in defense and security, achieved through a pact called Permanent Structured Cooperation (PESCO), which 25 countries have signed up to (Malta, Denmark and soon-to-depart Britain are the holdouts). “Improving military mobility in the European Union is one of the practical steps to that end,” says the latest draft of the document, which Playbook has seen and which Transport Commissioner Violeta Bulc will today present.

Read on for the details.

Historically, road construction was driven by 2 factors: trade and the need for troop movements. Now, decades after the end of World War II, major manoeuvers are rarer and newly built roads narrower, designed for civilian use only. But what if a tank has to cross a bridge built to carry a Beetle? I’m quoting my German self here from last November when we first reported the Commission’s plans for upgrading Europe’s transport network to allow it to carry heavy military equipment.

Mind the gaps: A pilot exercise conducted last fall “showed that in several EU member states’ road networks,” the maximum height clearance and weight tolerance of certain bridges “isn’t sufficient for oversized or over-weighted military vehicles,” the Commission document reads. “By end of 2018,” the Commission wants to identify “gaps between the current technical requirements … on the one hand, and what would be adequate for military transport on the other.” EU countries are asked — and Brussels aims to regularly follow up on this one — to “consistently take military requirements into account when building transport infrastructure.”

Show us the money: Why yes, that is a new opportunity for countries to tap EU funds for new autobahnen: One aim of the proposal is to “explore the opportunity of a dedicated EU financial support for dual use civilian-military infrastructure projects.”

Have you ever tried jumping through hoops in a tank? The second issue the Commission proposes to tackle has more to do with today’s lengthy procedures such as customs formalities related to military operations, diverging rules on the transport of military goods and basically the need to wait for a rubber stamp at every border. The plan includes proposals for “streamlining and simplifying rules related to customs and the transport of dangerous goods” as well as VAT rules — a nudge to EU countries to waive such procedures once for all.

MEANWHILE, OVER IN THE UK: Prime Minister Theresa May will today launch the National Security Capability Review, which sets out a new doctrine for Britain’s future security. The report proposes a new “Fusion Doctrine” that will allow security chiefs to mobilize everything from economic levers to online propaganda, diplomacy, the BBC World Service and the foreign aid budget to defend Britain, reports Jack Blanchard in his London Playbook this morning, in your inbox at around 8 a.m. Brussels time.

QUOTABLE

‘When you’re caught in the Olympics doping … there’s not a debate about how much illegal drug you took, or, well, he would come in first anyway, or he took only half the amount,” Cambridge Analytica whistleblower Chris Wylie told British MPs, when asked whether a clean race would have made a difference in Britain’s EU referendum. “If we allow cheating in our democratic process … What about next time? What about the time after that? This is a breach of the law. This is cheating.” POLITICO’s Mark Scott has the write-up.

ON THE SUBJECT OF FACEBOOK: CEO Mark Zuckerberg is expected to testify before U.S. Congress about the Cambridge Analytica scandal on April 12, our D.C. colleague Ashley Gold reports. Closer to home, MEPs want the Facebook CEO, along with representatives for Cambridge Analytica and Chris Wylie, to front up too, with the EPP, Socialists and Democrats, ALDE and GUE/NGL backing a Green proposal seeking to invite them to the chamber. (Quelle surprise, the European Conservatives and Reformists, home to the U.K.’s Tory party, didn’t back the motion). No one quotable on that yet, but there’s hope in Brussels that #Facebookgate will be a game changer — and may yet help set a new course on Brexit.

OETTINGER IN PARLIAMENT

A MERCEDES: Like a car from his home state of Baden-Württemberg, HR Commissioner Günther Oettinger was solid but not too flashy (more of a Mercedes E-Class sedan rather than a Porsche 911) in his appearance at the hearing with European Parliament’s budgetary control committee on Tuesday. He never strayed off-course during his two-an-a-half hour defensive ride, going round and round, giving the same answers to the same questions: Martin Selmayr is the best man for the job of Commission secretary-general; the College of Commissioners religiously followed the rules, as “agreed on in both Parliament and Council.” His message: Nothing to see here. POLITICO’s Maïa de la Baume has has the report.

Questions of language and background: Oettinger, a German lawyer (like Selmayr), wouldn’t entertain the notion that there’s a difference between the letter and spirit of the rules. Responding to MEPs who suggested such a difference existed, Oettinger wanted to know “what you mean by ‘spirit’ of the law … This separation between letter and spirit is to me — and I am a lawyer — only helpful to a limited extent.” In other words, rules don’t have spirits, and if a decision is legal, it’s legit.

‘It’s the vibe of the thing’: MEPs disagreed with that assessment, citing their feelings and press reports to prove ordinary folks feel differently about the affair, and to stress that, for a political Commission at least, EU staff regulations are about more than just the black letter of the law. The committee said it was still dissatisfied after the hearing. The Times’ Bruno Waterfield called Selmayr’s rise an example of “political sharp practice,” a British term obviously, which we have now added to our vocabulary.

Breaking it down: We’ve now seen the breakdown of the votes on a decision that certified that the Commission made good use of its 2016 budget in Monday’s committee meeting: S&D MEPs did back the Greens’ amendments on holding up the Commission discharge procedures to pressure it on the Selmayr case (though they still failed in the end). But the Socialists’ own suggestion, calling for “maximum transparency” when the next secretary-general of the Commission is chosen, did get up. And that, the group said Tuesday, should in their not-so-humble opinion happen as soon as a new Commission president is installed.

RUSSIANS PACKING BAGS

NATO on the bandwagon: NATO closed ranks with countries expelling Russian diplomats, effectively reducing the size of the Russian mission to the Alliance to 20, down from 30. “This sends a clear message to Russia that there are costs and consequences for its unacceptable and dangerous pattern of  behavior,” said Secretary-General Jens Stoltenberg. The behavior he was referring to is Russia’s “lack of constructive response to what happened in Salisbury.” POLITICO’s Maxime Schlee has more. Still, Stoltenberg said this “does not change NATO’s policy towards Russia.”

Only the lonely: Remainers are about to get a little lonelier in the building NATO will soon vacate. When the Alliance moves into the fancy new HQ on the other side of the street, it will leave behind the Russians, Austrians and other “partners.”

Global warming: The West can at least thank Vladimir Putin for one thing: He gave European leaders and U.S. President Donald Trump something they genuinely agree on. Trump, whose interactions with Angela Merkel have often been uncomfortable if not awkward, spoke to the German chancellor on Tuesday, according to the White House, “to reaffirm the cooperative relationship between the United States and Germany under the chancellor’s fourth government.” It’s not clear that anyone in Berlin thought the relationship needed formal reaffirmation (or that it is currently “cooperative,” for that matter). As the White House said, “both leaders praised the joint announcements” expelling Russian diplomats (though of course Washington refers to them as “intelligence officers”) by NATO, EU countries and “other partners” (Australia, Albania and Canada, by our count; New Zealand’s willing, but alas can’t find any).

Hotter still: Now, as for French President Emmanuel Macron — his relationship with Trump is warmer still, as the breezier White House readout of their Tuesday call suggested. Our own David Herszenhorn emailed in with this observation: Of all EU leaders, Macron has been the most at ease when it comes to building a relationship with Trump. The White House said the two discussed the hot topic of trade, with an emphasis on “addressing China’s unfair trade practices.” We must confess, we did for a moment brace ourselves for some Trump bluster about those evil German car manufacturers that flood American streets, leaving little room for those great, big American SUVs with soft suspensions that make us Europeans a little nauseated … but no: This was a day for unity, solidarity and commitment.

War, good God y’all, what is it good for? Trump, who is winning the trade war — for now, write POLITICO’s Hans von der Burchard and Jakob Hanke.

ON THE HUNT FOR SACRED COWS

PRISONER OF EVENTS: While Madrid may soon have Catalan arch-enemy Carles Puigdemont in its clutches, Prime Minister Mariano Rajoy is also a real prisoner, writes POLITICO’s Diego Torres. To pass his delayed 2018 budget in parliament, Rajoy’s minority government needs the support of Basque nationalists — but they’ve vowed not to cooperate until things in Catalonia get back to normal.

5 STARS FOR EFFORT: Italy’s populist 5Star Movement wants to join Emmanuel Macron’s l’Europe En Marche in Brussels, reports Il Foglio.

PUPPET MASTER: POLITICO’s Matthew Karnitschnig writes that while on the surface, it appears as though Slovakia’s former PM Robert Fico’s career has gone off a cliff, all is not what it seems.

LITERAL COWS: Italy has finally dared to do something about some holy cows that have been wandering the southern countryside. No, we’re not talking labor market rules or pensions. The Calabria region captured a few dozen (of about 1,000) bovines, that have been on the loose in the region since escaping in the 70s, but which no one dared to touch because of a rural legend that they belonged to two mafia families. That could be a sign that authorities are taking the battle with the mafia seriously. Or it could just be authorities rounding up some escapee cows.

CHINA SAYS NORTH KOREA PLEDGED TO DENUCLEARIZE DURING VISIT.